Monday, January 23, 2006

Anti Depressants can lower one's sex drive - especially in women

I am guessing that for your advice blog to work you will need some questions.I have been married for almost 2 years and love my wife very much. I am a very sexual being and she just deals with me. This has been due in large part to some anti-depressant sex drive killing drugs that she was on and has since changed. Now things are starting to turn around for me.My question is...she isn't very open with me about what she likes and doesn't like in bed. I have tried numerous different things in bed and have tried many different times to talk to her about it.

Can you give me some direction on how to get her to talk to me about improving sex for her?

Rock Hard

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Hey RH, (cute name by the way)

Anti depressants have come a long way since lab tests on rats. We can now treat almost any disease or mental malfunction with drugs. Unfortunately for us humans, a decrease in sexual drive is the price we pay for feeling better about ourselves and our lives.

Women especially are effected by the side effects of anti depressant drugs. The female hormone "estrogen" exacerbates the effects of most drugs which in turn increases the symptoms of any side effects in women. In other words women are more effected by a drugs side effects than men and are more likely to have a significant decrease in sexual drive after taking anti depressants because of our internal framework. All hope is not lost though, by adding anti depressants such as Bruproprion to one's drug regime can actually help restore a lost sexual drive.

But we can't solve everything with more drugs now can we? If we could this world would be a highly medicated place.

Perhaps your wife is feeling shy about expressing her sexual desires because she was or is on the drug, not because of the actual effects of the drug. Lets be honest here, who the hell feels sexy after having to pop pills called "anti depressants" For the most part, she probably feels inadequate as a person and as a wife because of the medication, even if she is no longer on it. "I'm not the perfect woman you deserve because I had to take these pills". Its not uncommon for people to feel this way.

Its your job as her husband to let her know that her having to take the drug in the past or present doesn't effect the way you think or feel about her as your wife. That you love her no matter what and the medication doesn't make her any less of a desired sexual being. From what I'm reading here, she doesn't have a problem actually expressing her sexual desires, she has a problem actually FEELING desired due to the medication.

You need to get her out of this mindframe she's got herself in. Take her out to a nice dinner, take her to a bed and breakfast for the weekend, watch your wedding video with her and remind her that when you put that ring on her finger you swore to her that "through sickness and health" you would love and cherish her. That was your vow to her and you plan on keeping it. You need to make her feel wanted first, make sure she knows that everything aside you still love her, she is always going to be the sexy wife you married no matter what.

It might be a slow process, it might be a fast one. That I can't tell you. But before you try to bring out the school girl uniform and buy all those Karma Sutra books you have to make her feel adequate and deserving of your sexual attention. Don't pressure her and do not rush her - she will come along in her own time. Certainly don't tell her that you have sexual needs and desires that need to be filled too otherwise she'll only be guilted into having sex with you and nobody wants to have guilt sex. She'll never get back her desire that way so don't even try it - pushing her will only make it worse. If you have to, rent some porn and service yourself on the nights she isn't home.

Hope things work out,


At 8:12 PM, Blogger Canadian Women's Blogs said...

ok ashley. lets raise awareness to your new blog. I am making a new button which I will pass on to you and post on the women's blog. PS...i've been on Antis for about 7 years for a sleep disorder...yes it knocked my sex drive down substantially, but thankfully I am still healthy in that department. But, the benefits they have given me by far outweigh anything negative. Mrs. Unknown loves you new site...she thinks it is an awesome idea

At 8:19 PM, Blogger Ashley said...

Thanks very much for your compliments B.U., say hi to the missus for me and thanks for your support.

Some good has to come from this, I've already received about 12 emails since I've made the new site. I'll try to answer as many as I can each day.

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Canadian Women's Blogs said...

check out the button I put up on my left sidebar..

At 3:46 PM, Blogger zona boy said...

I'm very impressed by what you're doing here Ashley. I like that you add some links and you're very articulate with your answers and advice.

Those who jumped on you with their "who the hell are YOU" attitude look very silly now.

At 7:53 PM, Blogger FDF said...

Alcohol may increase drowsiness and dizziness caused by Paxil. Do not crush, chew, or break the extended-release form Paxil XR. Swallow them whole. These tablets are specially formulated to release the medication slowly in the body.

At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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