Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Threesomes - Fun? Dangerous? Relationship-suicide?

Hi Ashley

My question is this, my boyfriend and I have decided to have a thresome. Its something he's wanted to do for a while now and I think it would be a fun way to spice up our sex life. We've been dating for nearly 2 years now and we think it would be fun to bring another into our bedroom for the night to engage in some "wholesome" sex. We already have the other girl so now we're just planning the event.

I know it sounds like it was all of my boyfriends idea but I was totally into the idea from the get go. I'm just worried that it might be damaging to our relationship. I know we are both equally into the idea so I dont see how it could be, but what do you think? Also are threesomes safe? I just want to cover all my bases here!

Thanks
C***


* * * * * * * * * * *

Hey C,

I'm glad that you pointed out that sometimes girls are capable of wanting to get our freak on - in your case a threesome - without feeling pressured by a man. I don't care what anyone says, girls are far more perverted than men. Unfortunately societal stigma doesn't allow us to express our sexuality for fear of being branded "sluts" and "whores". But hey, when a guy nails 4 chicks in one night he's a goddamn hero right? Anyways, I'm opening a whole new can of worms but I just wanted to point out that its true: girls are capable of expressing themselves sexually without being coaxed into it by a man.

All right - your question is three fold here.

First question: Is this fun/awkward/exciting/a good idea?

Answer: Why not? I will openly admit to having a threesome with another female and her boyfriend. You know what, all parties had a good time, it was fun, it was exciting and yes - it was slightly awkward. But come on, how could it not be initially? Who does what? Who puts whose hand where? Is it possible to even bend that way?? Once you get into it, and everyone's comfortable romping around naked that intial awkwardness does eventually dissipate.

Second Question: Will this damage our relationship?

Answer: First off, you didn't specify who the third party would be (ie. a friend of his, a friend of yours, some girl you met at X, Y or Z...) so for every situation it might be different. Personally my situation was more comfortable because I knew the parties involved, however - if this is a best friend of yours you may feel differently about the relationship afterwards. Not to scare you off from the idea of course, but keep in mind if this is a friend or co-worker etc. of yours you are still going to see this individual outside the context of your bedroom. If you feel like you would still be comfortable hanging out with them after the events without feeling ashamed or awkard I don't see a problem.

Now, like I said, I don't want to dissuade you from the idea if this is something you really want to do but ask yourself this: How do I honestly feel about my boyfriend fucking another girl? Because that's the reality of it sweetheart, your boyfriend will be engaging in intercourse with this other female. If you're a jealous woman by nature I strongly advise you against it. If the tables were turned and you were the third party things may seem a bit different since you have no emotional attatchment to the individuals you're having the threesome with. At the end of the night - you're going home.

But this girl is entering YOUR bedroom and YOUR boyfriend is entering this girl. Not to mention (and I'm assuming you and your boyfriend are riding the bunny slopes of threesomes here) how do you think you'll interpret your boyfriend's behavior while he's fucking this other girl? Maybe to you it seems like he is enjoying her more than you? Maybe you feel like he's spending more time with her than you? Your interpretation of the sex between your boyfriend and her could make the entire experience horrible and yes, it may very well cause problems between you if you aren't ready to face that reality.

I'm going to say this once again: Please don't think I'm trying to discourage you from the idea. Threesomes are great fun and they come highly recommended from me PROVIDED you are emotionally/physically/mentally capable of engaging them. That means you need to cover ALL of your bases, like you said, not just focus on the excitement of something new.

Hell, you never know - it may just turn out to be the best sex of your life!

Last question: Is it dangerous?

Answer: All sex can be dangerous provided you don't take the proper precautions. Think of it this way:

Having unprotected sex with a stranger can give you an STD or a virus

Now think of that in the context of your situation. Regardless of whether or not this other girl is a friend of yours they are still a stranger to your relationship. You have no idea what she has, who she is also fucking, or what diseases she might be carrying. Even if she is a friend of yours I sincerely doubt over a cup of coffee she's going to suddenly say, "So I went to the mall today, bought a cute new pair of Nine West's, had a low fat latte and oh yah, I have genital herpes"

NEEEAH!!!

It doesn't happen that way.

There are two things you can do to keep you and your boyfriend safe sexually:
Option 1. You all get blood work done, you all wait for the results and you all get tested for everything in the book.

Not hot, eh?

Option 2. He wears a condom and each time he fucks you or her he uses a new condom. It's not enough to just make him wear one, he has to change it everytime he switches partners. There would be no point in having him wear protection only to have him fuck her and then you immediately after with the same condom.

And if you want to be even more protected exclude oral sex. Herpes can be transmitted both vaginally and orally. Even if she doesn't appear to have any symptoms that doesn't mean she doesn't carry the virus. Most of the time people who have herpes do not show any physical symptoms of the virus for up to a year - but they can still pass it onto their partners. And remember: Herpes is a virus - its controllable, but NOT curable - God knows you don't want that.

Unfortunately condoms aren't infallible which means using one doesn't gaurentee you 100% safety. Abstinence or engaging in sexual acts with only one person does. Wearing protection however is defintely a safegaurd and you should defintely have your man wear one should you go ahead with your threesome. *Click here for more info*

I hope this has been useful for you, Good Luck and Have fun!
Ashley

1 Comments:

At 3:14 PM, Blogger JumpinJehosephat said...

With your sarcasm you need to check this site out.....
Click here for sarcasm

 

Post a Comment

<< Home